More Music?

Sorry this is all I've got. Alex has my journal at the moment (left it with him by accident) and so I can't really write this down. So I'm gonna post the lyrics to Give Me Novacaine by Green Day. It's sort of my theme song right now. If you have a theme song or you have a song you'd like me to post, let me know. Thanks.

"Give Me Novacaine"

Take away the sensation inside
Bitter sweet migraine in my head
Its like a throbbing tooth ache of the mind
I can't take this feeling anymore

Drain the pressure from the swelling,
This sensations overwhelming,
Give me a long kiss goodnight
and everything will be alright
Tell me that I won't feel a thing
So give me Novacaine

Out of body and out of mind
Kiss the demons out of my dreams
I get the funny feeling and that's alright
Jimmy says it's better than here
I'll tell you why;

Drain the pressure from the swelling,
This sensations overwhelming,
Give me a long kiss goodnight
and everything will be alright
Tell me that I won't feel a thing
So give me Novacaine

Oh Novacaine...

Drain the pressure from the swelling,
This sensations overwhelming,
Give me a long kiss goodnight
and everything will be alright
Tell me, Jimmy, I won't feel a thing
So give me Novacaine

Song of the Day: Sooner or Later

Here's an awesome song by Breaking Benjamin. From the album We Are Not Alone, this is Sooner or Later. Unfortunately it isn't on my playlist, so go to YouTube and type in Sooner or Later - Breaking Benjamin to listen in. Thanks!!

"Sooner Or Later"

I want a normal life
just like a new born child
I am a lover hater
I am an instigator
You are an oversight
Don't try to compromise
I'll learn to love to hate it
I am not integrated

Just call my name
You'll be okay
Your scream is burning through my veins

Sooner or later you're gonna hate it
Go ahead and throw your life away
Driving me under, leaving me out there
Go ahead and throw your life away

You're like an infantile
I knew it all the while
You sit and try to play me
Just like you see on TV
I am an oversight
Just like a parasite
Why am I so pathetic
I know you won't forget it

Just call my name
You'll be okay
Your scream is burning through my veins

Sooner or later you're gonna hate it
Go ahead and throw my life away
Driving me under, leaving me out there
Go ahead and throw my life away

Sooner or later you're gonna hate it
Go ahead and throw our life away
Driving me under, leaving me out there
Go ahead and throw our life away

Throw our life away
Ooooo
Throw our life away

- BloodyShadows -

Shut Down?

I'm holding a poll about this blog. Please comment/email me so I can see what I should do. Concerning this blog, should I:

A.) Make it a random post like before

B.) Try to make it a weekly advice thing

C.) Shut it down completely

Let me know so I can figure out what to do. Thanks.

Breaking the Habits

Today is Tuesday, April 13th. And right now in my life, I am dealing with some major contradictions and some emotional issues. I figured I could use this little bad section of life and give you some advice. But first, it's story time.

I can't tell you much, due to privacy reasons, but I can tell you enough to help you (and maybe myself) out. Right now, my mom is telling me that I can't communicate with my brother Adam or his wife Jenna. She says it's because they are up to something again. But that's not the way I see it. I see it as they are trying to fix things. I don't see what's so wrong about that. But the main point about it is, I don't know who to listen to. I've always listened to my mom when it came to Adam and Jenna. But after talking to him on Saturday, April 10th, I'm a little lost. I thought maybe Adam and I were getting that brother-sister bond back. I could talk to him and he could give me answers. It's been a while since I've had that with him. But now Mom is saying I need to ignore it and don't act by what he says. But some of the things Adam has said to me make sense. I want to side with my mom, but at the same time, I want to somewhat defend Adam. And trying to figure this all out and who to pick and who to deal with is really causing me some migraines and it's kind of upsetting me. Also, Alex is going through a rough time now (I won't go into detail unless I have permission, which I don't at the moment) and there's nothing I can do to help him. Thus, my urge is back.

You all know my old habit of the scratching-emo method. I've referred to it as "the urge" in another post on this site. The urge is an old habit of mine that I got into the gist of doing. Every time I got upset, it was shower, go to bed, find some emo-music, and have at it. But then I decided I didn't want that habit anymore because, not only was it hurting me, it was hurting other people. So I made myself stop. And for a while, I was doing good. But now that the stress and pressure is back on the table, I'm feeling the need to start up again. I'm sure you all have some habits you think you need to break, and they may not be as severe as mine. But this little tip might help you (I just hope it helps me).

Keep yourself distracted, for one thing. If you make it so that you have no time or reason to do whatever it is that you want, then you won't be able to. For instance. I want to scratch myself up. So to keep my mind off of it, I'm focusing on my novels and on my school work. And I guess you could say writing this entry is a distraction as well. Another tip that may work is try to get some help. This is my way of getting help; by talking it out and putting it out there. But really you can talk to anyone or write it in a journal (my poor journal hears too much about my problems. Feel sorry for it. It needs support). A third tip that might keep you from giving into your habit is keep reminding yourself why you can't do it. For me, I just remember who else I'm hurting and what can happen if I try to do it again: Alex could get fed up and leave, Mom could put me in therapy or on anti-depressants, I could accidentally hit a nerve or something, teachers might see, I won' t get my Swiss army knife back, etc. So really, breaking your habit (no matter what it is) just requires some mental reminders and distractions. Wish me luck with my own advice. I think I'm going to need it. :(

-BloodyShadows-Insomniac-

My Apologies

Readers,

I know this blog hasn't exaclty been what I promised you. There hasn't been much advice in a few months and it hasn't been much of the blog that I wanted it to be. Instead it has become more of a junk fourm then anything else. This is mostly because the things I was hoping to post about when it comes to advice were not permited by the family or by friends. I wanted this blog to help people find someone to connect with and to find help where they needed it. But it's not turning out that way, and for this I am sorry. I'm going to try to make this blog more of what I expected it to be. If you have any questions or anything you would like me to write about, please email me at knowurenemy13@yahoo.com. I'd be more then happy to personally help my readers here at BloodyShadows.

The goal here at www.bloodyemoshadows.blogspot.com was to help others. And it hasn't been doing that at all. And for this, you have my apologies. Please, if you have any ideas or need any help with an issue, email me and I'll be happy to help you. I'm going to try to make things a lot more like they should be around here. Thanks.

- BloodyShadows -

Song of the Day - Dirty Little Secret

This has been a favorite song of mine for a few years. I've been listening to it a lot this week, though I'm not really sure why. It's nice to walk to. Anyways, here's Dirty Little Secret by The All American Rejects. Check it out at

http://www.playlist.com/playlist/19314417675 Song number 2. Thanks!!

"Dirty Little Secret"

Let me know that I've done wrong
When I've known this all along
I go around a time or two
Just to waste my time with you

Tell me all that you've thrown away
Find out games you don't wanna play
You are the only one that needs to know

I'll keep you my dirty little secret
(Dirty little secret)
Don't tell anyone or you'll be just another regret
(Just another regret, hope that you can keep it)
My dirty little secret

Who has to know
When we live such fragile lives
It's the best way we survive
I go around a time or two
Just to waste my time with you

Tell me all that you've thrown away
Find out games you don't wanna play
You are the only one that needs to know

I'll keep you my dirty little secret
(Dirty little secret)
Don't tell anyone or you'll be just another regret
(Just another regret, hope that you can keep it)
My dirty little secret

Who has to know
The way she feels inside (inside)
Those thoughts I can't deny (deny)
These sleeping thoughts won't lie (won't lie)
And all I've tried to hide
It's eating me apart
Trace this life out

I'll keep you my dirty little secret
(Dirty little secret)
Don't tell anyone or you'll be just another regret
(Just another regret)

I'll keep you my dirty little secret
(Dirty little secret)
Don't tell anyone or you'll be just another regret
(Just another regret, hope that you can keep it)
My dirty little secret
Dirty little secret
Dirty little secret

Who has to know
Who has to know