Sorry it's been so long. I've had a lot of trouble at home. And I haven't been able to get on my computer very often. But I thought you should know that I'm writing a new novel called Possession. Here's chapter one...beware...(and when the demon talks, it's supposed to be in italics. This blog screws up formatting LOL).
Chapter One: Possessed – Day 18
My room was dark. It was always dark now. The darkness hurt less. The less I heard, the less my head hurt. The less I saw, the more I kept protected. I curled my knees up to my chest and dug my nails deeper into my scalp while sitting on my black sheeted bed.
“Why won’t you just disappear…?” I muttered, my usual blue-grey eyes now extraordinarily dark and bloodshot, my long straight black hair falling out of its ponytail and reaching my shoulder blades. Anyone who didn’t know me would assume I’d gone crazy; schizophrenic. But the truth…the truth was an unbelievable story all on its own.
“Can’t get rid of me, female…I’m a permanent fix…” The thing inside my head snarled at me. I didn’t know what it was. I was calling it a demon. It had a name. Supposedly it went by the name “Jess”. But I would never call it such out loud. To me, the demon was just “The It”.
I growled at it and dug my nails deeper; trying to hurt it; trying to make it shut up. Every time it spoke, my head throbbed. When it took over me, my memories blacked out. When it was awake and around others…it was out to hurt them; kill them in a sense.
“I can get rid of you…I can…” I snarled at it, wishing it would at least give me a few minutes of peace.
“Only in your dreams, girl, and even that is difficult…” It echoed through my mind. I tried to ignore it. I focused on my family; my older brothers, Zach and Troy, with their own personal issues. My younger sister Chloe with her perfection in everything. My parents who had an almost perfect marriage.
“And yet you’re the imperfect one, aren’t you female…?” The demon laughed in my head. I held in my comment and moved on to my friends; Kay with her badass personality and ability to handle anything and everything. Zoe with her optimism and her smile that any girl would die to have.
“You’re in between them…again, imperfect…outcast…you don’t match up…” It continued to laugh.
“Shut up…” I said. I meant for it to be a demand, but it came out as more of a plea than anything else. I didn’t want my mind to wander this far because the demon liked this part…As hard as I tried, I ended up thinking about my boyfriend; my one and only Logan.
“As yes…the boy…Mmm…” It said in quiet satisfaction as it marveled at my memories. The way his dark brown eyes sometimes glinted with an evil shine of desire or with so much emotion that it hurt. The way his hair, which was just as dark as his eyes and usually kept at medium length, sometimes stood up on one side, but not the other. The way his hands felt on me at anytime. The way my body seemed to fit perfectly against his. And especially the way his mouth would claim mine with just the right amount of desire, love, and respect.
“You stay away from him…he’s not yours…he’s mine…” I snarled at it, digging my nails so deep I was surprised blood wasn’t seeping through my fingers.
“Nothing is yours anymore…” It snapped at me. I had to give into my urge again. I dug around in my nightstand until I found what I was looking for; my pocketknife. As soon as I had it in my grasp, my hand let it go without my demand. It was controlling me now…
“Go to Hell…” I snapped at it, digging around in my nightstand again.
“Been there, done that…your turn…” It sneered at me. I got a firm grip on a pencil with a missing eraser. Using a lot of effort, I bit the metal edge into a sharp point. The thing used to like the pain because it hurt me…now it hated it because it could feel the pain now too; we’d become too connected.
I had to force my left arm straight. Once I had that done, I relaxed, making the demon settle. When my head was back to its usual pounding, I slammed the pencil’s edge into my arm. It hissed and tried to make me pull back.
“No…shut up…shut up…shut up!!” I screamed as I raked the metal edge down my arm. It hurt worse than the headache, but after several slices, the demon was silent and my head no longer hurt.
“Now stay that way….” I choked out. There was a knock on my door.
“Jasey? Open the door.” Zach demanded. I tried to yell out “no” but all that came out was a sob. I fell over onto my side and curled up tighter. For once, there was no blood running down my arm, but the burn…the burn was so much worse.
“Jase?” Zach called again.
“GO AWAY…” I nearly screamed. I heard I shuffle of footsteps as Zach left the hallway.
“You’ve won another battle, female, but you’ve yet to win the war…” Jess snarled quietly.
“SHUT…UP!!!” I screamed. I got up and flung my nightstand drawer open, snatching the brown Melatonin bottle from the bottom. I unscrewed the cap and dumped three of the small white pills into my hand.
“Twelve hours of sleep won’t get rid of me…” It laughed.
“It may not get rid of you but it’ll knock me out long enough to get some peace!” I exclaimed, shoving them all into my mouth and choking them down dry. I was quick to scramble back into my bed and cover my head with my hands as I shook. I clung to Logan’s hoodie like it was life support and ignored my phone as it vibrated with Logan’s ringtone again…He had to stay away from me…
It’d been so long since I’d been normal; so long since I had an empty mind. The demon had been around for weeks now…two and a half to be exact. No one could make it go away, not even Logan. No, it wanted Logan…it was after him…it wanted to hurt him. Thank God Logan was able to find a way to hurt it first when it’d tried. I usually kept it away from him. I only dared to come in contact with him if Jess was asleep…asleep and unaware.
As the sleep medication started to shove me into a shaky sleep, I could still hear the demon laughing at me.
“Unwanted…imperfect…outcast…” It continued to rant. I did my best to ignore it. Instead, I eased myself into thoughts about the beginning. I remembered faintly how things used to be…and clearly how the thing had ruined my life literally from the inside out.
