If Only...(Part One)

The picture above is from my sister Emily's ninth birthday party. From right to left, it's my friend Meagan, my sister Emily, my Alex, then me, Meagan's sister and my friend Allison, Emily's friend, Emily K., and......then there's Brett. Even though it was Emily's birthday party, my mom had allowed me to have some friends over. So I invited my neighbors, Alex, and...Brett. Alex and Brett didn't really make friends, seeing as Alex is my boyfriend and Brett was another guy I was hanging out with. But...see, at the time, Brett and I had been friends; almost best friends. He got along really well with both me and my sister. In fact, Emily asked me if Brett and Alex were going to come to the party at all. Of course I said yes, and that's why Brett was there. This is back when it all started. After that day...things started going wrong.

After Emily's birthday, summer came. And Brett and I were hanging out every other day or so. Alex was grounded for stupid reasons (that I'd rather not discuss without his permission) and so Brett was my only outlet for friends, seeing as everyone else was on vacation or grounded. Well...things started getting bad when I texted Brett about Alex. I remember being really upset because things had started going wrong with my brother Adam and I couldn't reach Alex to talk about it. So I talked to Brett. And...I think one night I was extremely upset and was just begging anyone who was willing to talk to me to find a way to get me in contact with Alex. And at the time, Brett was head-over-heels for me. And I guess it bothered him. It's not like I could help it, but Brett didn't seem to care.

He pretty much told me to get over and that if Alex didn't love me enough to even call and check in, that he was a crappy boyfriend. I, of course, took offence to the comments he was making (which I will NOT repeat) and argued with him. We got in a bad argument and stopped talking for a while. The only time we talked was when he was claiming to be killing himself over me and what I'd said. He never came over. He never emailed me. It was like he'd disappeared. At this point, we were both torn over it, because we were each other's best friends. But every time we tried to fix things, it never worked and the fights got worse. After a few weeks, we promised we'd try to work things out because we missed hanging out. He'd told me he was on new medication and it wasn't working like it should've been. Brett said he didn't mean to yell, it'd just bothered him to hear so much about Alex. I, against my will and because I was in desperate need of a friend, said I'd try to keep it to a minimum. We made a few deals over text and I thought everything was OK. So I stupidly let him over to my house again a few days later...